What I am up to at the moment…

I have a cacopheny of projects going on right now, and they are all so random that I wake up most mornings with my lips positioned to scream the words ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?’

First up, I am doing an ad campaign for Andrex – Washlets – to be precise. Now, I never set out in life to be the face of Moist Toilet Tissue, but this is proving to be one of my fav jobs ever. Andrex came to me and asked me if I would help get Washlets to the masses, and it didn’t take me long to say ‘YES’. My brief is to be as funny, silly, naughty and ridiculous as I can be, as I travel the country talking to people about wiping their bums. Never being one to shy away from an embarrassing subject (or a very handsome pay check) I was thrilled to be involved.

Producing this series of 6 episodic ads, are a fabulous company called, The Outfit. Headed up by two brilliant ex C4 peops, Neil and Charlie, they have put together a team of some of the funniest most hardworking crew I have ever worked with. We literally laugh all day, and I can’t tell you how important that is on a shoot, especially when I have the impossible job of walking up to strangers in the street and asking them how they wipe their bottoms. Never have so many people told me to sod off. It is quite a mission, let me tell you! But I am relentless.

Here is a grown up article about the ad, I can’t wait for you to see it. They will air in January for around three weeks.

http://www.brandrepublic.com/news/1107761/andrex-poised-3m-relaunch-moist-wipes-brand/

For now tho, please go to and LIKE this Facebook page. I am posting loads of funny videos showing the fun we are having, and I need as many people to like this page as possible so PLEASE do it, if you don’t mind. I promise to make you laugh.

www.facebook.com/cleancampaign

On the days that I am not filming I am working on the first of my new series of novels, Renèe and Flo. A twisting tale of an intense female friendship. I have to have the first one delivered on July 1st 2012, so I am gearing up to spending a lot of time alone, and eating way too many Kettle Chips. I can’t wait though. Writing novels is the dream so to get two in the bag is so amazing that it still hasn’t quite sunk in. The second book will be delivered on July 1st, 2013.

I’m still popping out articles for various mags, so will keep you posted on those. And there are a few random tots of TV coming up, including me playing a cameo role in SKINS. I was a receptionist who gets quite eggy and tells a  lot of people to sit down. My performance will BLOW YOUR MIND. (My performance will not blow your mind, but it was really fun).

That’s it for now. Can’t wait for you to see/read all this stuff. It’s been a very funny month x x

Making It Through The Wilderness.

Ferry Angry

I believe that when you have animals you should do your best to keep them with you at all times. This is why, whenever possible, Lilu (cat) and Potato (dog) come with me on my holidays. Our last trip was to Guernsey, we went there on the ferry.

The ferry takes around two and a half hours from Weymouth to Guernsey. During which time Potato and Lilu sleep in the car, and I sit in the cabin either feeling sick or sleeping. This time, I opted for sleeping.

So there I was on a relatively empty boat sitting on a chair, which was at a table, where none of the other chairs (4) were taken. I thought it fair to sit at the empty table and have a little sleep. Apparently, it was not at all fair.

I became aware of a strong presence surrounding me. Even with my eyes closed I knew I was in trouble. When I opened them my senses couldn’t have been more right. I was faced with none other than ANGRY FAMILY.

Making It Through The Wilderness – Mousey.

The London Riots were no fun for anyone. I can safely say that I have never felt so unsafe. Chris was in America so Lilu, Potato and I were home alone with our new addition to the family, Mousey.

Mousey comes to visit a lot, however this time mousey seemed to think he didn’t have to leave. Mousey also seemed to think that Lilu was just a big mousey, and Lilu thought that mousey was her best friend. Potato was in almost complete denial that either of them existed, and I was spending way too much time standing on the sofa watching Sky News and checking Twitter, then tweeting about how scared I was of absolutely everything.

I needed something to do to take my mind off all this commotion, but what? I could cut back the wisteria as it is now half way into the bedroom making bed times like a scene from Little Shop of Horrors, but that would involve going outside and then the yobs might get me. Putting Magic FM on really loudly and dancing to power ballads was no good as I wouldn’t be able to hear them if they broke in, and trying outfits on was way too dangerous – it might involve having to run for my life with no clothes on. Housebound and with all my usual procrastinations unavailable to me I was flummoxed as to how I could exert my nervous energy. I couldn’t even watch a movie in case Mousey crawled up onto the sofa and ate my face. Nope, there was only one thing left to do, the job that I had been putting off for months, the last thing in the world I ever wanted to face, the final frontier of Domestic Godessness… It was time to clean out the cupboard under the stairs.

*Insert dramatic music*

This is what’s happening…

We are in Campblletown, Australia. Chris is filming in the bush somewhere. The set is really cool and is actually Vietnam (well it will be in the film). Back to Sydney tomorrow, which I am thrilled about. This town is bleak and weird. Staying in a clinical corporate apartment block surrounded by junk food drive thru restaurants. I went for the super market and cooking option instead, but impulsively bought so much weird food that I keep going to the garage to get Kettle Chips. Quite fascinating tho, we get to see a bit of inland Australia. But so far, the beaches win.

We had our jabs for Vietnam last night. The injection didnt hurt but afterwards our arms were SORE!! Luckily (?) a massive spider was crawling across the floor while I was getting mine done, so it was a good distraction. NEVER thought I would say that! Chris shooting nights, so I am alone and uninspired, not getting any work done and I have LOTS. That is explains this classic example of procrastinatative (?) blogging.

Right now I am trying desperately to feel inspired and do some work, but a glass of red and another episode of Aircrash Investigation seem to have stolen me from me brain, again. Maybe I should just give in to the claws of this industrial town and get drunk and watch TV with commitment. Chris wont be back until 5am. I have time to kill. Hmmmm, I bet I go get some more Kettle Chips by the time he gets home.

It is odd here, I don’t really like it. I am very bored. Looking forward to moving on. I miss walking, but there is literally nowhere to walk to. I went to the gym in the building but its so miserable walking on a moving floor in a sweaty room. I just can’t do it.

Anyway, I have wine to drink. It’s lovely. Australia sure know how to make a plonk.

Slaters x

Sound Healing – SHUT UP!

Hello, my name is Dawn and I…

‘…realise I may be sounding unkind, but in a two-hour class that was meant to cleanse my aura I was surprised to be sat in front of someone who had such an unpleasant one’.

As I walked up the stairs into the Hare Krishna temple I was promptly ushered into a long thin room by a shoeless, blond, male nymph with a soft voice and  a clipboard. ‘The Sound Healing class is in here’ he said. I grabbed myself a cushion and sat down on the floor.

I sat opposite, if slightly to the right of a woman who I assumed to be the teacher. She had her back to the wall and was sitting with her crossed legged. Every now and then she would try to pull them into Lotus position but she couldn’t hold it, they kept slipping back. She tried to make this look deliberate, it clearly wasn’t.